“He who is too busy doing good finds no time to be good.”
It would be understatement that I have a lot on my plate. Most of the time, I refer to it as the “Atlas Complex”. Of course, we all have those days where it seems like we are juggling so many different things…home, work, school, kids, personal, etc. In this day and age, I think that we as a society (using Americans as the example) take assume many responsibilities in our lives that we feel like that we lose ourselves in the daily grind. We become a slave to the needs and schedules of others.
My heart goes out to those like myself who feel caught between the struggles of the “real world” and the passions of the heart & imagination. It’s very difficult being pulled between the perceptions of “what needs to be done” and “what your heart desires”. For me personally, lately it feels like I am beginning to feel the effects of the “mid-life crisis”. Now to clarify, I don’t have any aspirations to leave my wife and hook up with some young 24 year old. I don’t have any need to pick up an overpriced sports car (although you could make the argument that my 2009 Kawasaki Vulcan 900 Custom could be a substitute). It’s more the fact that mentally and physically, I’m not as young as I used to be…and there is an underlying drive deep inside me to learn, experience, and explore while I’m still relatively young. For example, there’s lot of things to be done around the house…but every once in while, I really want to work on woodworking, digital art, or relaxing with a good book. But it seems like finding time to do simple things like that are becoming more increasingly difficult…and it leaves me wanting. So, in the meantime, I keep notes and to-do lists…hoping at some point opportunities will arise to catch up on my desires.
Course, I guess if you looked at it from a psychological stand-point you could say that the reason why I have so much on my plate is because I choose to occupy my time and my thoughts with other things rather than dealing with more pressing issues and worries. Sure, I could buy that. But on the other hand, if we all sat down and really thought about all the terrible things that go on in our lives and in the world…worry about the risks that we take driving to work, walking up and down the stairs, and losing control of those whom we care about deeply…. then I think we all would be seriously depressed and fearful. So we put our best foot forward…press on…and make the best of what we have. I can’t speak for everyone else but I always have first class tickets to the land of Imagination and my bags are always packed! 🙂
There are those who ask me from time-to-time, “how are things going?” Most of time, I snicker and grin…and give some nonchalant answer. I don’t mean it out of any disrespect or lack of interest. It’s more the fact that I really don’t want to unload/vent all the things I have going on. I guess you could say that deep down I would be overwhelmed and a little put off if I was in the other person’s shoes (especially if it was unsolicited). Let’s face it… you may care about someone deeply but the fact of the matter is that you really don’t wanna drown in a sea of their fears, misery, and stress. So, you grin and bear it. But I would be lying to say that it doesn’t get to me some days. We all feel overwhelmed from time to time. That’s usually when I get into that frame of mind, I set things aside…and either do something for myself, something selfish…or really step back and take a look at my life and ask myself what really matters, what takes priority…and put myself back in a good mindset.
So to give you an idea where all of this is coming from, let me give you a taste. Of course, if you feel this is an unsolicited rant or more than you really wanna know (LOL), feel free to check out another post. To avoid a ridiculously long post, I’m separating this out into several posts: