I have felt a little bit empowered as of late. I can’t understand why because it seems like I’ve been like someone that’s been kicked in the head while he’s been down. I truly wish I could divulge the details of my misery…but it would not be the wisest thing at this point.

I’ve been trying to take some of the anger and frustration and put it to some good use.  I’ve spent almost every night this week at the gym either working out or playing racquetball.  I’m getting to that point where my muscles are starting to ache a bit. Probably from a lil bit of dehydration…but I’m sure it’s also a bit of rebellion on the behalf of my muscles for all the work I have been putting them through.   But I do have to say…I do like the adrenaline high, the calming effect, and the ability to induce a completely unconscious state of drooling, wet dreams, and utter physical, mental, and emotional refreshment.

I really pushed myself the other evening. For some reason, I felt like I just had something driving me.  Upon reflection, it’s probably because I got a ****bomb laid on me earlier in the week which really hasn’t set well with me.  So I guess in some ways, I felt like I had something to prove…or vent! I got to a point where normally I throw in the towel…and then found a renewed sense of purpose.  I found myself encouraging myself to press on…push my limits.  Sweating and panting (yea, I know it sounds bad but when your in the gym it’s not quite the same), I found my mind drifting to episodes of the NBC show “Biggest Loser”.  I thought about how hard many of the contestants pushed themselves.  Sometimes almost to a breaking point.   Although I really didn’t think that I needed of have a complete breakdown in the middle of the gym, I did find myself inspired.  Normally I’m not a big fan of reality TV but I’ve always found the show to be quite hopeful.

Jillian_MichaelsAs my mind drifted further, I began to conjure images of Jillian Michaels … standing there.  Suddenly, she was my trainer…encouraging me to press on, push my limits. I felt like I was on the show myself. And the crazy thing was I could feel myself getting the drive to push myself.

“Just a little bit harder…just a little bit faster.  A couple more minutes, you can do it.”

I know it sounds a little bit crazy but I have to say that it worked for me. Of course, you could ask most guys the same question:  “Hey, do you think a really hot female trainer would help motivate me at the gym?”  The answer would be DUUUHHhhhhhh!


Posted by synergy711

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